Monday, December 29, 2008
Family Fun
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thank You Debbie!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Julian!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Grandma
She is perfect, she is whole, she knows secret things, she is beautiful, she is with her mother, she is with her best friend, and she is in the presence of an all knowing and forever and deeply loving Savior.
Still He proves to be faithful, merciful, perfect, and awesome.
Even now I praise Him with everything I have.
I didn't know it then but this was my last moment with her.
This song has been like water to my soul.
It reminds me of how hard she fought and how perfect and real heaven is to her right this very moment.
If you can listen to the words.
or read the lyrics here
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Disneyland!
With the wedding coming up who knows when we will be able to afford new ones but I am determined to find a way!
I have beat Brett at this game literally every single time we've played. There was a close call this time but of course.. I ended up winning! You should've seen his face!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling too
My windshield wipers are terrible and it was pouring.. probably wasn't the best idea to turn the camera on:)
I had to end the video abruptly because a cop pulled up next to me and I don't think He would've thought it was the best idea either...
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Baking Days
Hopefully our gingerbread making skills don't relate to our future child bearing skills..
Deformed, arms and legs twisting wrong ways, 2x the normal gingerbread man size...
Disclaimer: This is a joke. We will be happy with whatever kind of children we get! :)
p.s. The second batch was perfect!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Grandma's Hands
Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a clear voice strong. 'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I explained to her.
'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean really looked at your hands?' I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.
Grandma smiled and related this story:
They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war. 'They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.
Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse. 'They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.
They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken,dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.
'These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life.But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.'
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Candy Cane Lane
Painter of the skies
tonight was the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.
I was blessed enough to be in Point Loma at the time. I yelled at Brett to pull over as fast as he could. I told him just to stop in the road and let me get out! He found a spot and stopped.
I shot out of the car like a cannonball!
I only had my PowerShot so this picture does it NO justice. The sky melted into the ocean and you couldn't tell where one stopped and the other started. The water turned glassy and you could see the reflection of it all. I have NEVER seen an orange so bright in my life.
You know a sunset is gorgeous when you get back in the car and you have messages left on your phone telling you to go outside and look at the sky!
He truly is the master painter. Creating pure beauty out of everything He touches.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Just like that...
Just like that life on earth was over. Body and soul were separated.
What kind of life did they live? Who have they left behind? What were their last thoughts? Were they surrounded by family? Were they ever married? What was their wedding day like? How old were they? Did they have kids? Grandkids? What moments in history have they witnessed? What parts of the world had they seen?
God shows me so much while im here. His presence fills this room. Its as if I step into an oasis when I step through those doors. For the past weeks I've spent hours of everyday in prayer and worship with my grandma while her numbered days and broken body dwindle away. As terrible as this situation may seem to the world. Its been a sweet blessing and i cant help but be filled with his joy.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Christmas on the Prado
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wedding Party
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Candy Canes...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving.
From my journal...
Tonight I come to you with a tender, confused, and torn heart. I know you are holding her and I know your will will be done, but father why? Why the pain? Why the torture? Why must she suffer so long and hard before you take her home?
I want so badly for her to be with you. I want her to be perfect in you. Whole. I want your face to be revealed to her. I want her to know what it’s like to hold the creator of the universe’s hand and know that she’s perfect. I want this so bad. But tonight.. Tonight I am struggling. As she laid in my arms crying, trying to be ok with the news she’s been given in the past hours, I ask why? I know this is all part of your greater plan but help me to see the big picture. Her lungs have already been poisoned by cancer. She’s already endured weeks and months of torturous chemo. She’s done her share of suffering Father. And now we are told that there’s a five-inch tumor in her brain. I hate it. I hate that there’s something in there close to the size of my hand gripping and mangling away at everything left. It kills me to watch her fight it. It kills me that there’s nothing that I can do. I can see that she’s trying. I can see that she knows it’s got a hold on her. I see her struggling to get the words out but her brain just won’t let her mouth speak it. I could see the pain in her eyes when the nurse came in to quiz her and asked if she knew what day it is and she got it wrong. It breaks my heart to see her slip in and out of confusion. And all I can do Father is ask why?
I brought her some thanksgiving dinner tonight. I can tell she’s trying to be strong. While she was eating I told her how beautiful I thought she was, even in the hospital with no hair she was the most beautiful woman. I told her that I was honored to be told so often that I look like her and that we share the same name. I saw her eyes grow misty before she dropped her fork and started sobbing. Every wall and layer was peeled away and all I saw was her bleeding heart. I could do nothing but get in her hospital bed and hold her. As I rubbed her head I could not help but think about the tumor less than an inch away from my palm. I asked her if she heard from you today Father, she just shook her head no as tears rolled down her face. I told her that that was ok because you told me something to tell her. I grabbed my Bible and read her the verse I had been given earlier today. We talked some more and she asked questions about the engagement and just smiled at Brett. She told us how excited she was that she got to go home in the morning and that her sister was flying in. Conversation slowly faded away and we watched TV together while holding hands. It was like water to my soul when we would laugh together at the show. To hear her laugh.
I could tell she started to get tired and she asked if we could turn off the TV. We just looked at each other in silence and smiled and held hands for a few moments longer. I asked myself what I could possibly do to make this better. That’s when I was reminded. I was reminded that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make this all better. Only you can make this better. And even if your version of better is different than mine, it’s still you our gaze should be locked upon. I opened her Bible and read verses about peace and strength to her. Thank you Lord for showing me the verses to speak. I still don’t know my way around the Bible very well but I’m so thankful that you are bigger than I am. She laid with her eyes closed while I read and she nodded along and hummed in agreement. It was such a gift to see your Word working in someone’s heart right before my eyes. I could see you working in her heart and I could see on her face your peace washing over her. After reading her verses until she fell asleep I kissed her cheek and told her that I loved her. I told her that you were holding her in your arms tonight as she slept. She fell asleep with a smile on her face and your whispers in her ear tonight Father. Thank you.
I know you know this is breaking my heart. I don’t understand why but I’m trying to remember that you love her even more than I do. I know I can be forgetful of your love, strength, and the perfection of your will. I ask you how you could let this happen to her and I plead for you to have mercy on her family’s broken hearts…. But I know that you’ve already answered me. The answer is in your son.
Forgive me Lord for being so forgetful. Forgive me for losing hope for just a moment. I know you know my heart. You know this pain that I feel. You know it and you know it well because you had to let this happen to your son. You watched your innocent son be tortured and killed slowly… and you did it all to save me. You know Father. You know my heart. But without that tragedy the bigger painting would not be complete. Please hold my heart in your hands through this time Father. Help me to be comforted by the big picture even if I cannot see it. Help my heart so that I can be used by you to bring her happiness in the moments she has left Lord.
Today is thanksgiving. I am so thankful for you Father. Thank you for your mercy, thank you for your strength, thank you for your peace, your word, your love, and thank you for your son. Thank you for the cross. Thank you Father.
Even now I believe and praise you,
Heather
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
And that... that's your song.
The surprise went a little something like this:
(we had just left church and it was really late at night. Brett said he would follow me to my house to make sure I got in ok but wasn't going to come inside. We got to my house and he told me he was going to come in for a second because he forgot he had to show me something.)
-He comes in, opens up his computer, and wants to show me a song.
-The song starts and I immediately smiled because one of the first lines is something B says to me a lot
- The song ends and he asks me if I liked it
- I say yes. It was cute because it reminded me of us and things Brett says to me.
- He said good because they wrote it for you.
- I told him that he was funny... but he was also a liar!
- After he realized that I really didn't believe him he opened up the emails between him and the band.
-My jaw hit the floor.
Turns out one of the bands we used to listen to a lot when we first started dating had started a project where they would write some songs for fans...
(You can learn about the project HERE!!)
Brett had sent Max Bemis of Say Anything an email a couple of months ago telling him that he was going to be proposing and gave him a list of things he loves about me (including his famous.. and slightly bizarre "you're the prettiest girl alive and prettier than any dead girl" line). He also wrote that he loved my crazy laugh, eyes, and that my heart is five times bigger than the Grinch's when he carved the roast beast etc.. :)
I could not believe my ears.
Here's my song: Prettier Than Any Dead Girl
Prettier Than Any Dead Girl from Heather Ozuna on Vimeo.
I do realize that Brett is not normal in the things he does for me which is why I'm so thankful that I not only got to be his girlfriend for almost four years but I will now be his wife for the rest of my life! Brett you continue to blow me away. Love you stink!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!
We're Engaged!!!
Friday, November 21st at about 5:50 pm Brett and I stood in front of Sleeping Beauty's snowy castle when he got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him!!
... and of course I said yes.
Here's the story from both sides:
Heather-
Brett and I go on a date every week. I already knew that this week would involve 2 dates but I didn't really think much about it. We went to dinner and saw How the Grinch Stole Christmas Thursday night. When he dropped me off that night he told me that I had to be ready for Friday's date at 10am. (Brett NEVER tells me where we will be going on our dates, it's always a surprise). He arrived early and was very persistent in getting me to cut his hair before we left (I wasn't catching on). After the haircut we got in the car and started driving North. We stopped in Irvine and ate lunch at Panera then continued driving.
Eventually we arrived at Disneyland and parked. He asked if I could guess where we were going so I made the obvious guess and told him I was kind of surprised because we never get to Disneyland so late in the day (Still wasn't suspicious). We entered the park and started our day. Disneyland days ALWAYS start out with Brett asking me what I want to do first... today, I told him, I wasn't feeling very decisive and asked him to choose instead. He told me not to worry, that he would make the decisions for the day. My indecisevness ended up working out in his favor. He later told me that every ride we want on and place we went was pre-planned!
After going on Winnie the Pooh we headed over to Santa's Reindeer Roundup. Seeing the reindeer at Big Thunder Mountain Ranch is one of my favorite things about Christmas at Disneyland (Brett knew this and wanted to take me there before he proposed). After seeing the reindeer we headed over to main Street to watch the Christmas parade. We walked through fantasy land so that we could go through the castle to get there. Brett wanted to walk around the side and see the wishing well but it was roped off. He tried to get me to go under the rope but being the square that I am I didn't want to break the rules(thankfully). We ended up walking through the castle and stood on the bridge for a minute to look up at the lights. He hugged me and I noticed his heart was beating really fast (still didn't have a clue). We continued walking over the bridge to the big area in front of the castle where everyone was taking pictures. We stopped and he told me to face the castle and close my eyes (brett is super romantic and does things like this all the time... so I still didn't know what was going on).
I heard him run away and then run back. He told me to open my eyes and he started his speech. As he was talking everything got really quiet and almost slow motion. After he finished talking he handed me a red rose then he got down on one knee, pulled out the ring, and asked me to marry him. I thought I said yes but everything was so swirly I wasn't sure if it even came out of my mouth so I said it again. I immediately hugged him and could not let go. Finally I let go and he reminded me about the ring. I totally forgot about the ring because I was so excited. I gave him my hand and he placed it on my finger. I looked around and saw Brian(Brett's brother) and Allie and Aubri my two best friends there taking pictures.
After lots of hugs, and crying, and calling family, and friends we found our way to Main Street and watched the Christmas parade. I have to admit... I missed most of that parade. I couldn't stop looking at Brett. We headed over to City Hall and dropped off the rose. As we were leaving Brett had one more surprise for all of us. He had made reservations for the 5 of us at Club 33 for dinner! We went on Pirates of the Carribbean (our favorite ride, perfect for our first ride as an engaged couple) and Indiana Jones and then we headed over to Club 33. Dinner was amazing and we had so much fun talking about the past and the future.
We watched the fireworks and Fantasmic from the balcony of Club 33 in New Orleans Square. Again, I couldn't pay attention. I couldn't believe that this was really happening. I was really engaged to that skinny guy with the long shaggy hair that I met in high school. I couldn't believe that was the same goofy boy who had grown into this amazing, Godly, loving, hard-working, funny, selfless man. And mostly I couldn't believe that I was asked to have the honor of being this mans wife and that he will love me and lead me for the rest of my life. I spent the whole night just staring at him in disbelief. God really does know what he is doing and I'm so glad that He will be the center of our marriage. Tonight was by far the best night of my life. I can't wait for the days to come... Some days will be sweet and some will be harder than we can even imagine... but in the end there's no one else I would rather spend them with. Brett, we have been together 3 years 7 months and 19 days during those days we've laughed together, cried together, learned together, and grown together. On our 1,329th day you asked me to let you make my dreams come true for the rest of my life... the truth is you already have. I love you always and forever... to the moon AND BACK.
Brett-
Almost 3 months ago I decided that I wanted to propose to Heather at Disneyland in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle. Well I should clarify. Long, long ago, I decided that I wanted to marry Heather. 3 months ago I finished my last class at UCSD and decided that I wanted to start seriously thinking about when, where, and how I wanted to do the thing. It didn't take long to decide that I wanted to do it at Disneyland. I had thought about many different options, but nothing seemed as magical as a Disneyland proposal.
Initially I wanted to propose in early October because, let's face it, we've been together for over 3 and a half years and I'm good and ready to be engaged. But as I thought more and more about the details I really felt like God was pushing me to wait longer. I really didn't have enough money for a ring, so I felt like it would be a very smart move to get a second job and save as much money as I could. Also, and probably more importantly, I realized that Disneyland is even more romantic at Christmastime. Disneyland is amazing and magical and romantic all year long, but something about that big giant Christmas tree, countless wreaths, and thousands upon thousands of Christmas lights strung all over the park just makes the park better. Not to mention the snowy, icicly, light-smothered Christmas version of Sleeping Beauty's castle.
So I did my research and found that this year the official launch of "Holiday Time" at Disneyland was on November 21st, 2008. So I decided that was the day. As I thought about it, the fact that it would be this day excited me more and more. What more romantic time of year to enjoy a new engagement than December? (If you can't tell, Heather and I are Christmas fools!). Not only that, but Heather's family always goes camping the weekend of Thanksgiving. We LOVE this tradition because it is the most relaxing, fun, delicious vacation and we both always get the entire weekend off work for it. And this year we'll have nothing to do all weekend but think and plan and dream about our future wedding! Yay!
Ok, so fast forward to early November. Many smelly, late-night Olive Garden shifts and terrible early morning Starbucks shifts later and I now have saved up a good deal of money. I had looked at several places already at different rings, but I never went with serious intentions of buying. But now I was ready. I have nothing morally against mall jewelers, but I have been to many of them and everything always seemed kinda blah. I was looking for a very specific style and no mall jeweler has ever had anything like what I wanted (you can ask Heather about the ring details if you care to know). But anyway, one early November day I moseyed into Jared's Galleria of Jewelry in Mission Valley near Mission Valley Center. Yes, I've heard the commercials. "He got it at Jared!?!?!?!!!?!!!!!" No, that is not why I went there, I simply wanted to check out all my options. The way I was looking at it was like this: Heather's ring is somewhere in San Diego. The ring that she will wear every day for the rest of her life that tells the world how much we love and are committed to each other is SOMEWHERE is San Diego. I just had to find it. With this mentality I felt like I should check out any jewelry store that looked halfway legit.
Now, let me explain one other little thing. I'm a hopeless romantic. I have been for as long as I can remember. So largely because of this, my hopeless, fairy-tale mind kinda always had this idea that when I found THE ring, I would immediately know it was THE ring. Mind you, the intelligent, realistic part of my mind knew this might not be actually how it will happen, but every time I went into a new store I was fully open to the idea that I might look at a ring in their pretty little display case and decide right then and there that that was the ring for Heather. And this pretty much happened. When I went into Jared, I found a couple of rings that I really liked, but something about this ring just struck me like no other. I left to think about it more and make sure, and two days later I went back and bought the ring.
So now we have the date and we have the ring, but I'm sure you're all most concerned with the proposal itself. Duh. That's kinda the culmination of everything. Well basically, we left at about 10:30 AM on Friday November 21st for an undisclosed location which ended up of course being Disneyland. This was unique because normally when we go to Disneyland we try to be there at opening, but this day we didn't even arrive until about 1:00 PM (after stopping for lunch at Panera Bread in Tustin on the way). We also usually end up leaving pretty early. My reasoning for leaving later was because Disneyland is open until midnight on Fridays, and I knew we would be there all night. By getting there later I figured we wouldn't be completely tired by the end of the day (we still were, by the way. We're getting old and rickety).
After arriving it was basically a normal day at Disneyland. Or at least Heather thought it was. We rode rides, ate Isador Boudin's delicious sourdough bread, and even oogled at the reindoor in Santa's Reindeer Roundup. While Heather suspected nothing out of the ordinary, I was constantly thinking in terms of "Ok, if we go here then here then here, we should be coming through Fantasyland to the castle right about 6:00 PM!" It was very important that we came out of the castle at about 6:00PM because that was the time that I had arranged for Brian (my brother), Allie, and Aubri to be waiting with cameras in hand, ready to videotape and take pictures. Oh, and my brother had the ring and a rose. Kinda important.
Before I go any further, let me interject with a few important details. Yes, I arranged for my brother and two of our best friends to be there, and there were several reasons for this. One reason was that I wanted people there taking pictures and catching the moment on video. Also, Allie and Aubri have a tendency to get excited about stuff. I definitely felt like their excitement for us would rub off and make the whole situation very, very exciting. However, I also don't trust anyone to keep a secret, so Aubri and Allie were completely unaware of any details until 2:30 PM on Friday November 21st, when my brother met them at Starbucks and they all left for Disneyland. Furthermore, I did not want to have the ring anywhere on me during our day at Disneyland. How terrible would it be if she found it, or worse, if somehow I lost it on a ride or something. Giving it to my brother to be in charge of definitely alleviated any pressure related to that. Plus I just really wanted my brother to be there with me on the biggest day of my life.
The plan was to be leaving Santa's Reindeer Roundup at Big Thunder Ranch in Frontierland at about 6:00pm, then head through Fantasyland and exit by the castle by going past Snow White's wishing well on the east side of the castle. Then I would have Heather make a wish and lead her over to the giant compass directly in front of the castle. However, when we walked over in the direction of Sleeping Beauty's castle, I realized that the pathway to Snow White's wishing well was roped off. Panic. Well not really. Only for a second. This was just a little detail I had planned, but was completely unimportant in the grand scheme of the proposal. So we go out through the castle the normal way and we stop on the big compass in front of the castle. I had to make very sure to keep an eye out for Brian, Allie, and Aubri, because they were expecting us to come from Snow White's wishing well, and I definitely did not want Heather to see them prematurely. Once we stopped on the compass I see my posse anxiously looking for us by the wishing well. So I tell Heather to close her eyes and don't move, and I run over to get their attention and motion for them to come this way. I take the ring and rose, and when I see that everyone is in position I ask Heather to open her eyes. I say a few romantic things to my beauty, I drop to one knee, and I ask the question that I've wanted to ask her for a very long time.
She said yes!
At this point we all laugh, cry, take pictures, and talk about everything that has happened throughout the day, and then Heather made some phone calls. We watched the Christmas parade, then we walked down to City Hall on Main Street to drop off the rose so we wouldn't have to carry it around for the rest of the night. After dropping off the rose I dropped a heck of a surprise on the girls: I informed them that in an effort to make the night as special as possible I arranged dinner reservations for the five of us at the elegant and exclusive Club 33 above New Orleans Square. (If you don't know what Club 33 is ask me about it. It's AMAZING and it's a VERY special thing to be able to go inside) When I told them, Allie and Aubri literally SCREAMED with excitement/joy/surprise. (My brother already knew - he had a hand in making the reservation possible.)
Our reservation was at 8:30, and it was about 7:15 at this point, so we rode Pirates of the Caribbean (in our own private boat, I might add), then Indiana Jones, then it was up to Club 33. We watched the fireworks from the balcony at 9:25pm, then after dinner we watched the amazing Fantasmic show at 10:30. Then we ate our dessert and unfortunately had to leave Club 33. It's always a sad moment leaving Club 33. After this we rode Big Thunder Mountain, rode Space Mountain, oogled at beautiful Sleeping Beauty's castle one last time, picked up the rose, and left Disneyland.
It is amazing to me how unbelievably perfect the entire day turned out. I honestly could not have asked for anything to have happened any differently. Even the complication with Snow White's wishing well turned out for the best, and there is no way anything could have gone any better. My brother and our friends made the details all come together and without them I don't know what I would have done. I'm so thankful for Heather's love and God's abounding grace and kindness for bringing someone so perfectly created for me into my life. I would not be the man I am today if it wasn't for her, and every day she shows me what it means to love unconditionally.
I love you Heather! And I cannot WAIT to be your husband!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursdate: How the Grinch Did Not Steal Christmas
Our waitress gave us a free dessert and told us to just pretend it's our anniversary tonight.
It was a vanilla bean Tahitian flan...
Favorite quote of the night from Brett: "It's Flantastic!"
They were very strict about no cameras so I had to take this on my phone...
My foot is touching the stage!